A Strange Thing

About 3 minutes ago I observed a very strange thing. The NFL game between the Chicago Bears and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers is being played at the famed Wembley Stadium in London. As such, they had both the American national anthem and the British national anthem sung by 2 very fine singers.

I’m quite used to nobody singing the Star Spangled Banner in America but what stunned me was the volume from the huge crowd singing God Save the Queen. Wow! A group of people actually singing when they heard their national anthem?

That’s a very strange thing. And a very inspiring thing.

Here Come Da Draft

This week I read of cutbacks in US military spending.  I also read that the US Defense Department is thinking about how we could wage war with China.  Seems we’ve lost some of our big war expertise since we invaded Afghanistan.  Outside of the sticky issue of our willingness to wage another war, we will have two problems; new equipment and new troops.

If we cut back military spending we can’t buy expensive guns, boats and planes.  If we go to war with China (or worse, Pakistan) we will need those expensive guns, boats and planes.  There’ll have to be some real slight-of-hand to afford expensive equipment and well-trained troops.

Assuming we can resolve the equipment issues, we will still need hundreds of thousands of able bodied men and women in the military; way more than Iraq and Afghanistan.  New troops not burnt out from repeated deployments, new troops who are willing to sacrifice the tranquility of their home lives for this country.

If we can’t afford the current re-enlistment and extension bonuses or perhaps not enough “volunteers” are that jazzed about enlisting, what then?  Well, folks, Here Come Da Draft.

A friend of mine recently opined that if we’d had the draft the good Mr. Bush would not have quite so easily sent “his own private army” off to war.  His reasoning concerning the achilles heel of an all-volunteer military is not without merit; that there is far less resistance to sending volunteers to war than sending everyone’s child to war.  Indeed, most of us have not sacrified much while a distinct minority have given everything.  If we have one more war we’ll have no choice but to institute the draft.  Even the sluggish Pentagon admits they need time to heal, to re-tool, to rest.

So, back to our two problems.  New equipment and new troops.  Maybe for enough of a kick-back our zealous military contractors could manufacture lots of guns, boats and planes.  Their willingness to develop and sell new equipment is evident to everyone.  But the draft?  I remember the draft during Vietnam.  MMmm-hhmm.  That was really fun.

One might even speculate that if the good Mr. Bush had been subjected to the draft we would have defeated the Taliban 10 years ago and not one soul would have been lost in Iraq.  As it is though, we’re in a real pickle now.

Life After Death

Years ago I visited the Rosicrucian Museum in San Jose, California where they believe in coming back to life after you die.  Myself, I never really believed it until I came face to face with America’s greatest menace, the fruit fly.  

My mistake was accepting some seemingly harmless house plants from a friend who claimed these plants just needed some more sunlight.  But these plants had fruit flies.  Do you have any idea how dangerous fruit flies are, America?

On first blush, fruit flies are really, really cute.  They’re maybe 3 millimeters in length.  So one little bitty fruit fly may not seem like a big deal – until you snap out of your “fruit fly romance trance“.  

I have now killed hundreds of them; maybe more.  And, America, there is no end in sight. 

After you’ve tried every exterminator trick known to man on these lilliputian hovercraft, your nerves are at ”DefCon IV“.   That’s one step below Nuclear War.

This is why I now believe in reincarnation.  No insect, no animal, no human, no extraterrestrial galactic being could survive such ruthless annhilation unless – unless – the insects we kill today rise from the dead at night to fly around the next day.  I am now a believer in Life After Death.  

Yesterday’s journal entry — “Today I killed 5 of these flying beasts.  A good day’s work in Terminator-Land.  But as I turned to my dictionary just now to look up the proper spelling of “annhilation” for tomorrow’s blog, a fruit fly buzzed the pages as if to taunt me and then disappeared.  For a moment, I thought I heard laughter.”

Yes, America, we must act now!  But there seems no hope, at least using conventional methods.  So, I am launching a new counteroffensive, my own guerilla warfare.  My plan is to befriend them and then cleverly eradicate  them.  

Step one.  Leave ripe oranges and spoiling bananas lying around the kitchen as bait. 

Step two.  Dose the fruit with sweet smelling insecticide.  The unsuspecting, albeit cute,  fruit flies will never know what hit them.  

A few hours later, they’ll fly home to their tiny fruit fly villages with their cute little wood fires over which they’ll warm their tiny little hands.  “Hi, honey.  Look at the beautiful fruit that nice man left out for us.  I brought some home for you and the kids” they’ll say.   

Haven’t quite figured out that Life After Death.  My motto is Death First.  Then we worry about the coming-back-to-life thing.  

Come to think of it, I never checked the guides at that Rosicrucian Museum for wings.  Hmmmm.

A Good Man

Many times in my 64 years of life I’ve declared ”he’s a good man”.  Well, I ask you – what is a good man?  

Is a good man someone who opens doors for the elderly?  Is a good man someone who cares passionately about his children, his faith, his community?  Is a good man someone who dies protecting his wife?  Yes, yes, and yes.

Can good men correct their mistakes and still live good lives?  Yes.     

I had many friends in Special Forces who sacrificed much to be good soldiers.  In the theology schools I attended there were many men who wanted to be good men in the service of God. 

And yet in America we seem to have forgotten that there exist good men.  Why? 

In part because we men have failed to live our lives honorably.  When we have made mistakes, we have not corrected them quickly enough or perhaps not at all.  We have forgotten the immeasurable privelege of being a good man and the responsibilities that come with being such a man.   

In part because it is popular to ridicule men; that men are hapless fools.  I declare to you, America, that this country is overflowing with good men.  They are everywhere, in every walk of life; they are uncountable.  

In Tucson this week we saw a 76 year old man throw himself on top of his wounded wife to save her life.  How can we not remember these countless acts of goodness? 

American women are equally good and brave but I can only speak about being a man.  I am a passionate and courageous man who has failed as often as any man.  I failed my family by not being a very good provider. 

Can I try to become a better man?  Yes.  Is there any time this side of death’s door when a man cannot try to be a better man – a good man?  No.

As I write, I have tears running down my manly cheeks thinking of this gentleman in Tucson and of my children with whom I always be madly in love. 

I want to be a good man.  I want to do right.  And there are countless millions of us who do.

Help us, ladies, and help us, God, to be good men.  To do what is right and thoughtful and courageous.  I think American men can be tremendously good. 

We just need to be reminded of the overwhelming birthright we have.  What a privelege it is to be a good man. 

Even if nobody tells us “you’re a good man” we will try to be good men.  When we die, we will rest in peace; cheering on any man who wants to be – a good man.

America’s Insane Disaster Response

Watching the disaster response in Chile this week, I’m reminded of how  insanely inept America’s responses have been over the past 20 years to such large scale disasters.  As an Administrative Officer for Hurricane Andrew in 1992, it was near impossible for me to obtain food or water or intelligent guidance from either the State or Federal authorities.  It was utter chaos.

Then in 2005 we gasped watching the lovely response to Hurricanes Rita and Katrina.  Those of us who participated in the after-action report on Hurricane Andrew were floored when we observed that nothing had changed; nothing.  And there’s no excuse for it!  We keep doing the same stupid things and get the same stupid response; that’s insanity isn’t it? 

And now, watching the Chilean response, I am amazed at how elegantly Chile has performed.  Yes, I’m aware they failed to notify coastal areas of the tsunami but the RESPONSE, folks, has been stunning.  Compared to the timeliness of any large scale American disaster response, I just have to say the Chileans make us look like rookies. 

Chile assessed their needs in virtually no time, sent in troops immediately who’ve done nothing but assist & organize the citizenry, and stopped the looting completely.  They’ve set up field hospitals, provided food, water, clothing and tentage to countless thousands in record time.  They’ve mobilized an army of machinery to clear mountains of rubble, set up temporary morgues, provided lists of the dead to assist families and put thousands of volunteers to work straightaway. 

Homeland Security in the U.S. could learn a lot from this, but they almost certainly will not.  Our disaster response system is so stultified in bureaucratic incompetence, we desperately need a paradigmatic rebirth.  If you think we’re any better off now than 20 years ago, just hide and watch what happens in the next large scale disaster response in the U.S.  Our citizens are NOT prepared and our governments, plural, ooze from one bad decision to the next.

More importantly, MOST of the citizens of Chile seem to have been remarkably well prepared.  Many knew what to do in an earthquake and many, had they been warned, would have escaped the tsunamis.  They had food and water, flashlights and heating oil and plans for their families’ survival.  We could all learn from this but we almost certainly will not. 

I’ve seen it for 20 years as a disaster response professional.  I mourn for America’s disaster preparation and response.  The innocent in America will suffer and die, again, because we have shown we are so inept.  It drives me crazy – but not insane.  That’s a role for our bloated, sprawling, lobotomized disaster response system.

Conan O’Brien for President?

For those who don’t watch much television, allow me to share this.  Last night Conan O’Brien left NBC as the host of ”The Tonight Show”.  Not only did he have the impeccable grace to thank NBC for their support, but in his parting speech he said,

“To all the people watching, I can never thank you enough for your kindness to me and I’ll think about it for the rest of my life.

“All I ask of you is one thing: Please don’t be cynical. I hate cynicism — it’s my least favorite quality and it doesn’t lead anywhere.

“Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you’re kind, amazing things will happen.”

If ever there were a time in this country’s history for advocating hard work and kindness, of forgiving those who’ve sinned against us, those who’ve really hurt us, it’s now.  And that speech is precisely what we all needed to hear.  All of us; smokers and non-smokers, republicans and democrats, bad boys and cops.

My vote goes to Mr. Conan O’Brien, perhaps not as President but as a wonderful example of how we could behave in America, of how we should behave in America.  All of us.

Green Berets Are All Crazy

My girlfriend has a pretty large family and therefore there are some pretty large opinions in family gatherings.  Not too long ago some of these folks were advising my girlfriend that I, as an Ex-Green Beret, was crazy and she should be very careful.  Yes, in fact, they said with absolute certainty, ”Green Berets are all crazy”.  Oddly, I concur.

Let’s look at the facts.  First, the staggering odds of making it through the training is something like 100 to 1.  Second, you have to be a Paratrooper before you can even enter Special Forces training  – this requires jumping out of an airplane at 120 miles an hour at 1,250 feet off the ground and then smash into the ground at 17 vertical feet a second.  So one second before you hit the ground you’re almost 2 stories up in the air.  Only a crazy person would do that. 

Then there are the small matters of survival schools, winter warfare, desert warfare, weapons training, cross training on explosives/radios/combat medicine/ambushes/intelligence analysis.  Grueling schedules of cramming impossible amounts of knowledge into very tired brains.  Up at 4, to bed at 2 (AM), or waiting all night for a resupply drop by air.  No food, 20 mile forced marches with rucksacks and weapons with no sleep, again.  Let’s not forget language school; Spanish, Russian, Arabic, French, Chinese, Swahili and a lot more.  All Green Berets are rated in fluency with a foreign language and, I forgot, a Department of Defense security clearance.  And that’s all before you’re deployed.  Then the craziness starts in earnest.

This week one of those crazy Green Berets died; Bob Howard.  Who?  Bob Howard.  The only man in history nominated 3 times for the Congressional Medal of Honor.  Bob Howard.  The fellow who was more highly decorated than Audie Murphy.  The Medal of Honor and multiple awards of the Distinguished Service Cross, Silver Star and Bronze Star.  Wounded 14 times in 54 months.  He must’ve been crazy.   

They’re crazy alright, these Green Berets.  Crazy about America.  Crazy about helping people who would otherwise see their countries destroyed and their families murdered or taken as prisoners.  Crazy enough to undergo a lifetime of sacrifice to save silly little villages trapped in bloody warfare.  But mostly  they’re crazy about freedom.  Even their motto is crazy – “De Oppresso Liber”; Freedom of the Oppressed.  Can you imagine someone believing that? 

Crazy enough to understand that even when people think they’re nuts, they turn right around and walk right back into hell to preserve the very freedom that gives their critics the right to say, ”Green Berets are all crazy”.   

Maybe my girlfriend’s family was right.  Maybe I am crazy.  Jury’s still out on that one.  But I do know that I’m humbled to have known and walked among these wildly innovative, talented and wonderful men.  

The next time you hear someone use the term “crazy”, just remember the freedom required to even voice such an opinion and then… thank God for crazy people like the Green Berets.

Fort Hood

In discussion of the horror at Ft. Hood, Texas yesterday, I would be remiss to not tell those who died, the survivors, the families and the loved ones who, all, will not be right again for a very long time that I am remorseful to the point of tears over their losses. 

But now, let us consider with stone-cold reasoning the military’s malfeasance preceeding yesterday’s massacre.  First, perhaps the U.S. Army (my alma mater) could explain why a hostile psychiatrist was allowed access to the most sensitive material possible from combat veterans when that man was suspected of writings supporting terrorist acts; a la Al Qaeda. 

At first blush, one could theorize that the Army didn’t know for sure that this newly promoted Major was in fact the one who was writing these anti-American blog articles.  But I have a problem with this “innocent until proven guilty” reasoning.  This is one of those situations when the Army SHOULD take extra precautions.  This doctor was publicly bad mouthing his own deployment to these ultra sensitive areas of the world and constantly arguing with his fellow G.I.s over the need for deployment.  The man even offered to pay the military back for his med school training so he wouldn’t have to deploy.  Why, oh why, was he not immediately yanked off duty by the Army brass?  And, for the record, who gives a hoot if the man was a Muslim or not; he was not fit for duty, regardless of his religion.   

Forgive me for some jaded thinking here but, if the Army is true to it’s M.O., they will hang one or two low ranking scapegoats and call the matter closed.  (Does anyone remember the preposterous Army cover-up of the 347 women, children and elderly villagers slaughtered at My Lai, Vietnam and the singular Lieutenant saddled with the whole affair?)

If, however, the families and survivors and dead victims have their say, we should demand to know why the Army, and the entire DOD for that matter, does not treat this business of PTSD seriously?  We should treat these delayed stress problems with the same sobriety we treat any classified document or any classified mission.  It’s utterly clear to me and countless other veterans that they have not done so (or the good doctor would have been banned or locked up long ago) and that this case is far from the only failure in our treatment of these excellent service men and women.

My god, is there nobody in the Pentagon who actually gets the notion of how massive the problem is AND has to power and vision to help these folks?  Many veterans, besides me, feared that these repeated deployments, coerced reinlistments, and the stupidly reasoned placement of National Guard troops on front line duty for massive amounts of time would ultimately and permanently damage not only our fighting ability but ironically deplete our ability to defend our homeland (that’s what the National Guard is supposed to do).  Does ANYONE seriously think we could handle a war in Korea right now?!

The Pentagon better wake up on this one.  Those of us fortunate enough to call ourselves civilians assumed the Pentagon WAS taking care of PTSD and the psychological, social and familial damage we’ve now allowed with these flippant deployments.  I’d like to see a fastidiously careful screening of psychologists, psychiatrists and mental health counselors who are allowed access to these precious G.I.s. 

In the movie, “The Greatest Little Whorehouse in Texas”, the Governor of Texas sings a little dittie to remind us of how quickly authorities can bury important issues.  “I love to do a little side step”, go the lyrics.  No more side stepping, Mr. Secretary of Defense.  No more side stepping, Mr. President.  I have respected you both; now, show me my respect has not been in vain.

Why Are Americans So Dumb?

Today I was shocked almost beyond words to see that the new movie release, “G-Force”, was the number one box office draw in America.  Why are Americans so dumb?  This completely adolescent movie with plenty of off-color inuendo, to me is simply not worth seeing.  What kind of person would go to such a movie? 

Immediately I am reminded that I asked that same question when “Deuce Bigalow” hit the theatres.  Now, there’s a movie that’s clearly geared toward adolescents who are either not offended by the off-color nature of the dialogue or are simply ignorant of the fact that people my age think it’s off-color.  Where has all the morality in America gone?

Am I now too dreadfully old to appreciate the humor in today’s entertainment?  Or have we gone too far down the trail of rejecting the mores or our ancestors?  So, how to resolve it.  Is this movie fit for human consumption or not?  Will “G-Force” lead to the destruction of our civilization?

I suspect that many who spend the money to see “G-Force” will have a few good belly-laughs and enjoy the movie for what it is; a brief respite.  Maybe they’re not so much dumb as they are in need of something, anything, that’ll bring a smile to their face in today’s world. 

And, I’ll bet that some of those 10 or 12 million unemployed Americans whose unemployment benefits have dried up are there right now, watching “G-Force”.  Now that I think about it, I find myself saying “Hopefully, soon, we’ll have something more substantive to cheer you up, like maybe a job”.  Enjoy the show, folks.

A Red Neck Among Us

This week I lost a good friend.  No, he didn’t die.  He just irritated me to death so I yelled at him.  I hauled off and let him have it good.  I told him he was nothing more than a “Red Neck, Wannabe American”.  Translation, I’m a lot more liberal than he is.  The fact that he and I can both trace our American roots back hundreds of years did not even phase us.

This is what happens when two spirited people love their country but neither one of them really knows how to maturely discuss what we mean.  I’m sad for the loss of my friend.  No doubt he’s in a fine Irish temper; he did inform me that he fully expected such behavior from a bleep bleep liberal. So here we sit, each waiting for a full throated apology from the other.

That’s why I have hope for this Administration.  Mr. Obama is not going let us sit around hating each other.  He’s gonna make us do what we should have done a long time ago – stop shouting and start listening.

I’m sorry, Dave, for calling you a Red Neck.  I might not have meant it.